• Miranda Turner

So I haven't blogged in months. I haven't been able to blog in months. This summer, while the sun was shining, and birds were chirping... I was struggling with a major depressive episode. Heading into fall, I really wanted to engage more with my blog but still found myself struggling to find the will power to create.

However, today is World Mental Health Day; and I saw this as a great time to be honest with my own mental health struggles.

For those who don't know, I was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder and Depression when I was a junior in high-school. If you were to tell me back in 2016 that this would be information I would one day feel comfortable enough to share on the internet; I wouldn't have believed you. My diagnosis of Depression and Anxiety was extremely isolating. I felt crazy and out of control. I felt as though any chance I had at "normalcy" was out of the window. I felt defective.

If I could describe Anxiety into an experience... imagine, stressing all day about a test, being unable to focus on studying because your brain has catastrophized the task at hand to seem unmanageable, and then being unable to fall asleep because you feel that come morning you'll be a failure. Now, pair that experience simultaneously with Depression. After being awake all night, unable to study, and probably having an anxiety attack or two; you finally fall asleep at 5/6am. Physically, you can't wake up and take your test. So when you do finally wake up in the afternoon the feelings of being failure seem to tie your to the bed.

That experience is applicable to any situation, not just school. Socially making plans you want to be apart of but that you physically can't attend because Depression and Anxiety consume all your energy. Or even something as small as cleaning your room or washing your hair... Anxiety makes the task unmanageable thus unaccomplished; and depression makes you feel worthless for not completing the the task.

The cycle repeats, and repeats itself everyday; until it consumes you and you lose track of how long you've felt this way.

The negativity, and isolation I felt around my diagnoses followed me until I was a sophomore in college. It took a failing semester freshman year for me to open my eyes to the fact I could not wish nor will away my illnesses. I could not stop my brain from spiraling into an anxiety attack or depressive episode. I could not pray my brain into hoping my suicidal thoughts would stop. I could not hope and wish myself into being "normal."

I loved my university, and I knew that was where I wanted to be. However, what you know logically and what you feel emotionally DO NOT always align. So at 18, I decided to work to align what I knew, and what I felt.

I challenged myself to try and be healthier and happier. I determined myself to learn to love the person I was born as; and that is a person with Depression and Anxiety. As someone who also suffered from Asthma, I would never deny myself an inhaler if my chest was tight. So, I stopped denying myself the medications my brain needed to have the proper chemical levels. I stopped feeling like a failure because I needed accommodated testing conditions. I stopped comparing my normal, to societal standards of normalcy. I stopped hiding from my peers that I see a therapist every week.

Now, I don't want this to just seem like one day I woke up, and willed myself into being healthier. I must repeat, because none of this was easy... that I CHALLENGED MYSELF. Every day was different and brought new challenges. Some days, I layed in bed, depressed, and sobbed; sometimes multiple days in a row. However, the real challenge was learning to accept and love myself and all my challenges.

The real challenge I am still trying to accomplish. However, with every day and every therapy session it gets a little easier and more manageable. When you start to feel better, it becomes easier to continue to feel better, do better, and do more!

My solemn advice for damn-near every human being is to go to therapy. The growth I have experienced emotionally, mentally, socially, and professionally make therapy priceless. I have learned how to cope with my diagnosis, how to be productive, and how to be happier. Do not deny yourself access to doctors, medication, or anything that will help you process mentally or emotionally.

In our society we ostracize and isolate people with mental illnesses. We paint it as a deficiency in the person. However, if my leg was broken you would tell me to get a cast; and if I was a diabetic you would encourage me to take insulin. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE IN MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES!

In closing, please get the help you need to be the happiest and highest functioning person you can be. You are not alone. You are stronger than your diagnosis. You are normal in every way you were meant to be. I am hoping this very long post can help someone. I hope it will encourage people to find a good therapist. I hope it will help me feel less anxious, and allow me to get back to creating. Finally, I hope that on World Mental Health Day you take a moment to check-in on yourself; and show yourself some love.

Thanks for reading my post. Make sure to subscribe to my blog for post notifications and go check out my YouTube Channel for more fashion styles, beauty tips, and lifestyle hacks! Add my blog to your bookmarks to always have access to tips in fashion, health, fitness, beauty, and more. Feel free to email or DM me for collab!

Bye with Grace

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  • Miranda Turner

Updated: Oct 10, 2019

Alright, as promised here is my current wash n go routine.

With my busy work schedule, and attempts to have a personal life; I do not have the time or energy to an extensive wash-day process. If you are interested in reading on my wash-day routine make sure to comment on this post, Instagram, Youtube, or Facebook! My wash n' go routine is similar to my wash-day... efficient! I can break it down into 5 simple steps.

1.) Apply deva curl decadence conditioner, onto extremely damp hair

-comb through with finger, or denman brush

2.) Finger curl, frizzier or coarser sections of hair

3.) Thoroughly apply devacurl Arc angel gel to curls

4.) Spray with devacurl curl creator throughout hair

5.) Diffuse

Typically, my wash n' go's last me 1 to 2 weeks. I maintain them by sleeping with my hair up in a pineapple; and refreshing my curls as needed with added water, decadence conditioner, and a little Arc Angel Gel. I have found this routine to actually be easiest and most manageable with my career; while being more less restrictive and edge-damaging as ponytails or buns. You can watch my full wash n' go routine on my YouTube Channel below!

Thanks for reading my post. Make sure to subscribe to my blog for post notifications and go check out my YouTube Channel for more fashion styles, beauty tips, and lifestyle hacks! Add my blog to your bookmarks to always have access to tips in fashion, health, fitness, beauty, and more. Feel free to email or DM me for collab!

Bye with Grace

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  • Miranda Turner

It's finally summer! Time for long days in the sun, and endless nights of fun. That rhyme was corny, I know.

But in all seriousness summer is one of my favorite seasons because it’s ignites energy. A lively and vibrant energy that is almost hard to describe. Boat days, porch sitting, gardening, lounging by the pool, movies in the park; the outdoor options are really endless. I know we think it's all fun and games but an endless summer of outdoor activities DO come with responsibility; and that’s a responsibility to your skin!

Many of the my melinated queens and kings believe that melanin holds super powers that protect us from the sun... I am here to debunk this myth, melanin is not a UV ray repellent!

I have recently dived very deep in skincare, and how to improve my skin. I know I am late to the game, but later than never. Something I found myself struggling with is finding products specifically for black or brown people. Through my many "skincare for black people" google searches I found a black-owned, cruelty free skincare line! BLK + GRN, is a toxic-free, plant based company that creates products that cater to black and brown people.

Since it's summer, I decided the Black Girl Sunscreen was a good first investment into my skincare, and with BLK + GRN. The results are in and I LOVE THIS PRODUCT! First and foremost the sunscreen doesn't leave any ashy, purple streaks on your skin like almost every other brand I've tried. The lotion is smooth, and feels so light on my skin. Additionally, a little dab of the lotion goes a surprisingly long way. Lots of time when purchasing skincare products the price can really add up. Another thing I love about this product is that is so affordable. Only $19.00 dollars on their website, here.

I am excited to make the Black Girl Sunscreen a staple in my summer beauty necessities. Go read about my other summer beauty essentials, here. BLK + GRN has a multitude of beauty products and I am making next purchase soon! Support black-owned businesses and try out one of their products. The sunscreen isn't a bad place to start.

Thanks for reading my post. Make sure to subscribe to my blog for post notifications and go check out my YouTube Channel for more fashion styles! Add my blog to your bookmarks to always have access to tips in fashion, health, fitness, beauty, and more. Feel free to email or DM me for collab!

Bye with Grace

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Styles with Grace is your must read fashion and lifestyle blog, specializing in the mess of 20-somethings. Make sure to join my mailing list for updates!

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