Confidence "they" Can't Kill
So, if you had asked me 10 years ago what confidence was... I'd have no idea really. I was extremely insecure in high school. I truly felt inadequate in all the categories that seemed to be important: beauty, academics, etc.
So when I started college I decided I was going to be a new "woman". I held my head high, walked with purpose, and tried to always appear unbothered by others. In reality, the outside was a very well put together package; but the inside was still yearning to be accepted. My confidence to the outside world seemed unshakable. However, there were many days I would come home, take off the make up and heels; and just sob. I would cry because I didn't understand what was wrong with me? Why were people still not accepting me when I was striving for perfection everyday?
Since graduating, this past year I have been so fortunate to be able to see a great therapist! Through our continuous work, I have found a certain level of peace. There are still days I am not feeling so sure of myself but now I have healthy practices to keep me confident in the flawed human being that I am. I feel so lucky to have this new outlook on being confident and content; and I wanted share some of the things I do maintain confidence through the adversity of life.
1.) Focus on the small wins
Life is really an accumulation of small moments of success. Think of it like this... being an Olympian, and getting to stand on the podium infront of millions is "big win". But there were so many small wins that led to that moment; setting a new PR in practice, or fixing your form on the starting block. So many people forget to focus on the small wins because they believe the big win is most important. Sadly, you don't always get the gold medal moment; but that's ok because there were so many beautiful moments that led to it. Focus on those!
2.) Find a fight song
I am a huge music fan, so I have a fight playlist! I think it's important to find a song that makes you feel powerful. My playlist is filled with Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj, Megan thee Stallion; and even Kendrick Lamar and Drake. This was actually recommended to me by my university's consoling department and it has been so helpful.
3.) Follow your heart
This one is tough because it can be really scary to follow a feeling. I believe, those feelings are sent by God to direct you through His path for you. To follow what your heart says despite what is most realistic, is to walk in faith. I have found so much peace in releasing my plans, and beginning to live in His plan for me.
Those are just a few things I have found that has helped me. I hope to anyone who might read that they find practices to help their confidence grow and maintain. Confidence lies within, and does not reside in others opinions of you; never forget that.
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Bye with Grace